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Help Suzanne Aucoin
Nov 2, 2007 - The St. Catharines Standard
Aucoin moves into hospice; 'Part of me just doesn't want to give in'
Part 22
It goes against everything she's been doing and everything she's stood for over the past
four years.
Acceptance.
Suzanne Aucoin is still struggling to wrap her head around it.
She knows her cancer is getting worse. She understands how weak she's become. She
can't ignore the growing pain and fatigue.
And she's well aware of the sense of finality that comes with her new address. A
residential hospice. A place where people go to spend their last days in more
comfortable surroundings than a hospital.
Suzanne, 37, moved into a room at Hospice Niagara's Stabler Centre in St. Catharines
Monday.
But it hasn't been an easy adjustment, following such a tenacious fight against
colorectal cancer and a health system that often threw roadblocks in her path.
After trying to push something away with such force for so long, letting up on the
resistance doesn't come naturally.
"It happened so quickly. It was a difficult transition," she said Thursday, as an indoor
waterfall gurgled in a meditation room at the hospice.
"Part of me just doesn't want to give in. I'm doing this under pressure, it feels like."
Suzanne, diagnosed with terminal colorectal cancer in November 2003, has waged a
fierce battle for greater and more equitable access to new cancer-fighting drugs in
Ontario.
Earlier this year, Ontario's ombudsman blasted the provincial Health Ministry for its
mistreatment of Suzanne and its flawed out-of-country health-coverage program.
Acting on the ombudsman's recommendations, the ministry agreed to repay her about
$76,000 she spent on the cancer drug Erbitux in New York and Ontario, as well as the
legal costs she racked up trying to recover her money.
The government also announced a review of its out-of-country drug-coverage program
to make sure other patients don't get caught in the bureaucratic red tape that snared
Suzanne.
The review still hasn't been completed.
This past summer, Suzanne again turned to the U.S. for a specialized form of radiation
therapy not commercially available in Ontario.
She spent about $50,000 in funds raised for her by community supporters for the
treatment at a hospital in North Carolina.
But the procedure, which sent millions of microscopic spheres of radiation directly to
her liver tumour, failed to deliver any significant results.
Suzanne's doctors are now telling her there's no hope medication can slow her
cancer's progress.
Her primary oncologist in Hamilton told her a couple of weeks ago she was no longer
benefiting from chemotherapy.
She was losing too much weight, losing strength. It was no longer doing her any good.
She was also told to stop taking Erbitux - the intravenous drug she successfully fought
the provincial government so hard to get.
Suzanne continues to take medications for pain and other conditions. But she's no
longer receiving treatment of any kind for the cancerous growths in her liver and
lungs.
When a room became available at the hospice earlier this week, Suzanne reluctantly
agreed to take it.
"There was no way I was going to die in a hospital," she said.
"I wanted to die at home, but I felt it would be too much of a burden."
Suzanne has been living with her mother, Janet, at their home in Port Dalhousie. Her
father, Norm - one of her strongest supporters - died suddenly of a heart attack in
August.
While her health allows her, Suzanne plans to make day trips out of the hospice to
spend time with her mom at home or socialize with friends.
Suzanne, on leave from her position as a chaplain at Denis Morris High School, is
hopeful she can build up enough strength to remain active.
"I want to help people. I want to do things. I want to be a chaplain again, but I can't,"
she said. "It's just that balance of quality of life and non-quality of life has tipped."
Suzanne's long list of friends are making certain she always has someone at her side.
They've put together a visiting schedule to keep her company and give her mother
some relief.
"Suzanne is our hero and she's so special. We'll do everything we can for her," friend
Rosanna Hunt said while visiting Thursday.
"She's such an inspiration.... She's definitely taught us how to live."
Hunt and a couple of Suzanne's friends took her out Wednesday for a snack at her
favourite bakery in Port Dalhousie.
More friends joined her at home for an hour or so Thursday night to watch Survivor -
one of her favourite shows.
"We're trying to keep it as normal as we can. Through this whole thing, Suzanne has
wanted to keep it as normal as possible - everyday life," Hunt said.
After all Suzanne has done for others through the years, friends want to return the
favour, said Maurice Charbonneau, a family friend and Suzanne's former principal at
Denis Morris.
"She's fought a great fight and we're exceptionally proud of how she's conducted
herself through this whole situation," he said.
"We're going to try to be there now for her."
pdowns@stcatharinesstandard.ca
On the web
Suzanne's story
The Standard's ongoing series following Suzanne Aucoin's fight with colon cancer can
be read online.
For previous stories in the series, go to The Standard's home page,
www.stcatharinesstandard.ca, and follow the arts/life link at the top of the page to a
link for Suzanne's Story.
Suzanne also posts regular updates and information on her own website:
www.helpsuzanne.com
She thought she had beaten it. But in late 2003, Suzanne Aucoin was rediagnosed with
a terminal case of colorectal cancer. The Standard is following Suzanne's fight with
cancer in this continuing series.
Aucoin moves into hospice; 'Part of me just doesn't want to give in'
Part 22
It goes against everything she's been doing and everything she's stood for over the past
four years.
Acceptance.
Suzanne Aucoin is still struggling to wrap her head around it.
She knows her cancer is getting worse. She understands how weak she's become. She
can't ignore the growing pain and fatigue.
And she's well aware of the sense of finality that comes with her new address. A
residential hospice. A place where people go to spend their last days in more
comfortable surroundings than a hospital.
Suzanne, 37, moved into a room at Hospice Niagara's Stabler Centre in St. Catharines
Monday.
But it hasn't been an easy adjustment, following such a tenacious fight against
colorectal cancer and a health system that often threw roadblocks in her path.
After trying to push something away with such force for so long, letting up on the
resistance doesn't come naturally.
"It happened so quickly. It was a difficult transition," she said Thursday, as an indoor
waterfall gurgled in a meditation room at the hospice.
"Part of me just doesn't want to give in. I'm doing this under pressure, it feels like."
Suzanne, diagnosed with terminal colorectal cancer in November 2003, has waged a
fierce battle for greater and more equitable access to new cancer-fighting drugs in
Ontario.
Earlier this year, Ontario's ombudsman blasted the provincial Health Ministry for its
mistreatment of Suzanne and its flawed out-of-country health-coverage program.
Acting on the ombudsman's recommendations, the ministry agreed to repay her about
$76,000 she spent on the cancer drug Erbitux in New York and Ontario, as well as the
legal costs she racked up trying to recover her money.
The government also announced a review of its out-of-country drug-coverage program
to make sure other patients don't get caught in the bureaucratic red tape that snared
Suzanne.
The review still hasn't been completed.
This past summer, Suzanne again turned to the U.S. for a specialized form of radiation
therapy not commercially available in Ontario.
She spent about $50,000 in funds raised for her by community supporters for the
treatment at a hospital in North Carolina.
But the procedure, which sent millions of microscopic spheres of radiation directly to
her liver tumour, failed to deliver any significant results.
Suzanne's doctors are now telling her there's no hope medication can slow her
cancer's progress.
Her primary oncologist in Hamilton told her a couple of weeks ago she was no longer
benefiting from chemotherapy.
She was losing too much weight, losing strength. It was no longer doing her any good.
She was also told to stop taking Erbitux - the intravenous drug she successfully fought
the provincial government so hard to get.
Suzanne continues to take medications for pain and other conditions. But she's no
longer receiving treatment of any kind for the cancerous growths in her liver and
lungs.
When a room became available at the hospice earlier this week, Suzanne reluctantly
agreed to take it.
"There was no way I was going to die in a hospital," she said.
"I wanted to die at home, but I felt it would be too much of a burden."
Suzanne has been living with her mother, Janet, at their home in Port Dalhousie. Her
father, Norm - one of her strongest supporters - died suddenly of a heart attack in
August.
While her health allows her, Suzanne plans to make day trips out of the hospice to
spend time with her mom at home or socialize with friends.
Suzanne, on leave from her position as a chaplain at Denis Morris High School, is
hopeful she can build up enough strength to remain active.
"I want to help people. I want to do things. I want to be a chaplain again, but I can't,"
she said. "It's just that balance of quality of life and non-quality of life has tipped."
Suzanne's long list of friends are making certain she always has someone at her side.
They've put together a visiting schedule to keep her company and give her mother
some relief.
"Suzanne is our hero and she's so special. We'll do everything we can for her," friend
Rosanna Hunt said while visiting Thursday.
"She's such an inspiration.... She's definitely taught us how to live."
Hunt and a couple of Suzanne's friends took her out Wednesday for a snack at her
favourite bakery in Port Dalhousie.
More friends joined her at home for an hour or so Thursday night to watch Survivor -
one of her favourite shows.
"We're trying to keep it as normal as we can. Through this whole thing, Suzanne has
wanted to keep it as normal as possible - everyday life," Hunt said.
After all Suzanne has done for others through the years, friends want to return the
favour, said Maurice Charbonneau, a family friend and Suzanne's former principal at
Denis Morris.
"She's fought a great fight and we're exceptionally proud of how she's conducted
herself through this whole situation," he said.
"We're going to try to be there now for her."
pdowns@stcatharinesstandard.ca
On the web
Suzanne's story
The Standard's ongoing series following Suzanne Aucoin's fight with colon cancer can
be read online.
For previous stories in the series, go to The Standard's home page,
www.stcatharinesstandard.ca, and follow the arts/life link at the top of the page to a
link for Suzanne's Story.
Suzanne also posts regular updates and information on her own website:
www.helpsuzanne.com
She thought she had beaten it. But in late 2003, Suzanne Aucoin was rediagnosed with
a terminal case of colorectal cancer. The Standard is following Suzanne's fight with
cancer in this continuing series.